Can Social Media Keep us Body Positive!?

The following post is a piece I recently had published in Her Vintage Life magazine. 

We are all goddesses. Well, perhaps not quite goddesses, but if Constance Hall is to be believed we are all, at least, Queens.  If you haven't yet discovered Connie, she's a blogger, author and self-love advocate from Perth, Western Australia, whose outspoken and  frank insights into the ups and downs of parenthood have amassed her an ever-growing band of fierce female followers. As well as her humorous, brutally honest blog-posts, Constance won't miss an opportunity to post a motivational body-positive picture, on the beach or in the back garden, reminding us that all female forms - especially those which bear the markings of motherhood, have worth, value and beauty. 

And good for her for doing so, because I genuinely believe that the trickledown effect of such confidence and courage is beginning to be felt by more and more women. And it does take courage - no matter what the critics say. To post true and honest pictures of your body online, when the majority of what we see is put through a filter, or photoshopped; well, I call that courageous. Constance also addresses these issues in some of her posts: in February of last year she wrote a piece entitled 'Body Love' in which she talked candidly about her past struggles with an eating disorder, and in May in a post she called simply, 'Enough', she slammed how quick beauty magazines are to criticise minor physical imperfections in female celebrities.

 

Alongside this uplifting sincerity, I have seen too the rise on social media of videos 'exposing' the lengths magazines go to when retouching photos of celebrities and models. Or even, as recently came to light with one major high street outlet, doing away with the models altogether in favour of computer generated versions of the female form! Of course, the majority of people have known about such practices as airbrushing and photoshop for years now, and critics to this argument would say these shots are aspirational; they are glamorous and consumers know that would they are being presented with, is, in part a fantasy - that's what they are buying into. Sure. Ok. I get that. But perhaps what these exposés show us, is the extent to which these transformations go - especially when they feel the need to slim down a celebrity who is ultra slim to begin with: someone who has access to a personal trainer, a nutritionalist and age-defying magic elixirs, most of us can only afford in our dreams!

It is this exposure, and the way that social media has allowed bloggers like Constance Hall to spread her message of female empowerment, that is partly responsible for this positive shift in what women are willing to accept as images and ideas of what constitutes beauty. 

As well as encouraging people to speak openly and honestly about parenting and the way in which we view our bodies, Constance Hall's blog aims, in part, to elicit camaraderie, compassion, and a network of women who are willing to support each other. It is this open and candid dialogue that she fosters on her website and Facebook page, which, I believe, helps promote good mental health and self esteem in her followers. She's not perfect - whatever that means - and she admits that in most of her posts. She has parenting setbacks and relationship problems, she has self-doubt, anxiety and times where she feels like she wants to jack it all in; or run away from it all, and it is this honesty and willingness to be vulnerable, which makes her so Gosh Darn appealing!

Another blogger who I think has played a role in this rise of body positivity, (perhaps not as vocally, but as sincerely) is Kat Williams AKA The Rock 'n Roll Bride. As the name would suggest the focus of Kat's blog and magazine is alternative weddings and styling, but, like Constance, she uses her Facebook page to promote body positivity by posting selfies and comments about her feelings towards her own body and accepted beauty standards. Because her website features real weddings, this idea is reinforced there too, because the pictures are of real brides, not of models.

Having said all this, please don't think I believe everything to be completely rosy in the garden for Eve. Fundamentally, the media still assails us with images of super-toned celebrities, (who are then trimmed down some more by the power of technology!) but there are these little sparks of light out there. Something that I noticed early on when reading this very magazine, was that it didn't just use typical models for its fashion shoots. I found that when I was flicking through the pages, I was quite surprised, and comforted, by the fact that I was seeing a range of women represented. Vintage styling is about creativity; it's about self-expression, enjoyment, 'having a go', trying out something new, (or something old in fact!) and that is open to everyone. I see this body-positivity mirrored on my Facebook feed daily, by pages like Burlesque Baby, Pinup Fashion and Retro-Lovely - sure, the women are glamorous, and styled and gorgeous  - but they are not always a size 0!

When I first became interested in vintage fashion, I hadn't realised that this would be one, very positive, outcome of my adventures. 

There has been some criticism of course about the inclusion of plus size models in fashion campaigns; for instance that it promotes an unhealthy lifestyle, (which is perhaps a little absurd, because I shouldn't imagine that the inclusion of models at the other end of the scale promotes an altogether healthy one.) I wouldn't disagree that a discussion about health and nutrition needs to be happening alongside a promotion of body positivity - after all the two go hand in hand. But I believe that there has been a shift in this debate too. A few years ago the focus seemed to be on making dramatic changes to your diet for short term, quick fix results. I am not denying that there aren't still Instagrammers and YouTubers promoting such extremes, but I also think that more people are considering making gradual and realistic changes to their diets and lifestyles which can be sustained, and which are not just to do with the effect they give on the outside, but on the inside too.

If you haven't yet checked out Constance Hall, you can do so here: queensofconstance.com or find her on Facebook, or to see some of Kat's real weddings (including one I was a bridesmaid at!) go to rocknrollbride.com.

Be body positive in 2017 Vintage Vixens!

What is the use of a book without pictures or conversation!?

The decorations for the wedding came from a wide variety of places including wholesale websites, second hand shops and craft shops. Etsy was a go-to place also and I sourced the Alice charms, which became part of the place settings from there, as well as the gorgeous handmade robes which formed part of my BM thank you gifts. 

One website which I kept going back to was DHgate, which seems to stock everything you could ever think of or want! Something that I did spend hours trawling for, and never did get, were Japanese style lanterns with tassels. When I did eventually find exactly the ones I wanted, the import price was so extravagant I had to rethink. In the end I opted for some plain paper lanterns, which were fine, as the bright, decorative parasols made up for where they were lacking in detail!

I got several cheap blankets and throws from Primark, and cushion covers from anywhere and everywhere! I used these for the outside, lounging Bedouin tent area, which my sister @Daisy Shelly design dressed with handmade quilts, bespoke cushions and hanging fabrics to cover the plastic drapes of the tent. The shabby-chic screen was from Joss and Main, (which stocks some absolutely gorgeous pieces), as were the Moroccan style poufs.  If I saw something Alice related I snapped it up: mugs from Waterstones, books from Amazon, playing cards, bunting..... oversized pocket watch from Wilkinson!

I did a huge amount of DIY, (with the help of wonderful family and friends) - we decoupaged glass jars and pegs,  which were used to hang up the Polaroids people took on the day); designed and printed the table signs and seating plans, (for these I used cheap frames from the pound shop!); printed all the labels for favours and put together the kid's activity packs. The Works and The Range were a great provider of crafting bits such as decoupage paper, ribbon and lace. (I had not come across The Range before and I was like a kid in a candy store!) As its name would have you believe, it does indeed sell a vast quantity of stuff!

 

I knew I wanted a variety of looks for the centre pieces, and my florist, (also called Amy!) was more than accommodating to my whims! For one look, I dispensed with flowers altogether

and had some silver twigs used to display gorgeous vintage Christmas tree decorations I had bought.

DIYing so much took a massive amount of time and energy but it was deeply satisfying. I can't say in the end if doing it this way saves a huge amount of money over all, but it was great to flex some creative muscle, and I now have loads of extra bits left over, (I decoupaged my first set of drawers at the weekend - pictures to follow soon!) Buying, rather than hiring, also meant that these pieces of furniture  and accessories are now MINE and I can either dress my flat with them or sell them!

(obviously I am keeping them for now - magpie's don't let things go that easily!)

It was a blast sourcing and making everything but I was really glad to get my 'brain' back after the wedding! In the last few months before it, I literally could think of nothing else and every waking minute that I wasn't at work, I had to be doing something for it. But it had to be done that way really! I read recently that Kat, who writes the blog Rock n Roll bride, started it when she got married, and didn't want to stop writing about weddings so carried it on and it grew into the amazing, beautiful, sparkly thing it now is! That's how I feel a bit. It's strange looking back at the wedding; we now have the professional pics, the video and I am currently writing the thank you cards. It's a little bit melancholy, in a strange way! Not so much because it's been and gone - it's hard to explain. I guess partly it is because it becomes your whole world for a year or so, and then: poof! 

Oh well, hopefully a few more friends will get engaged so I can stick my beak into their arrangements!....

Need a wedding planner, anyone!?